


I don’t want your pity I just want somebody near me

by Shobiostan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Haikyu - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Kageyama quits volleyball, M/M, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Song: Nobody (Mitski), Suicidal Thoughts, Volleyball, hinata shoyo is determined, um idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29991927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shobiostan/pseuds/Shobiostan
Summary: Kageyama tobio had always been a lonely person which didn’t bother him until one day it did.Hinata shoyo is determined to know more about Kageyama tobio and why he quit volleyball what could go wrong?(Bad at summaries sorry)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

Kageyama tobio is in his first year of middle school when he meets the greatest volleyball player ever. Well the greatest in middle school at least to tobio. Toru oikawa, kageyama thinks maybe one day he want to be just like his upperclassman. He thinks one day he’ll be better than oikawa. 

Kageyama is in his third year when he realizes he will not be anything like oikawa toru. He wants to be but somehow he can’t figure out how. He can’t figure out why nobody tries as hard as him. Why nobody loves volleyball as much as him. He doesn’t think he ever will. He’s benched, his team wants nothing to do with him. Kageyama thinks maybe he also wants nothing to do with himself. Sometimes he hopes he’ll wake up in a different body but who is he kidding this isn’t some movies where the main character can switch bodies.

While in his third year he also realizes he doesn’t have any friends. He never hangs out with anybody outside of school or while in school. He eats lunch alone, plays volleyball alone, And watches his favorite show alone. He never really noticed until graduation when everybody was hanging out with their friends talking of how much they’ll miss one another. Kageyama thinks that maybe just maybe he wishes he had a friend. Sure I mean there was kindaichi and kunimi but he doesn’t think they’re friends anymore if they even were in the first place. People tend to stay away from Kageyama scared of the scowl he wears on his face. Kageyamas kind of glad though because he isint exactly good with words so people tend to get the wrong ideas which is that Kageyama tobio is a mean person. Kageyama tobio like to think he’s a nice person, a nice person who eats curry, watches anime, reads manga, and plays volleyball. He wished people could see that. 

Kageyama will not be going to Shiratorizawa nor Aoba Johsai he will be going to karasuno high. Kageyama thinks his grandfather would be disappointed. Kageyama wishes his grandfather were here. Kageyama wishes for a lot of things. 

It’s during the summer before his first year of highschool when kageyama quits volleyball. What’s the point of playing if I can’t be a team player he thinks. What’s the point of playing if there’s nobody to play with. Those are some reasons why he decided to quit. Also considering the fact that he wasn’t good enough for any schools to want him. Why didn’t anybody ever want him? Kageyama tobio thinks maybe just maybe life isn’t worth living. He thinks of how he isn’t good at anything other than volleyball which he no longer likes at least that’s what he tells himself. 

It’s the first day of school and Kageyama tobio is siting in class. Students chatting around him getting to know one another, but nobody is talking to him. Nobody at all. Kageyama tobio can’t work up the courage to talk to anyone so instead he sits alone with his head down once again. 

It’s the end of the first school day when Kageyama tobio is standing outside of the gym In which the boys volleyball team practices. No he didn’t decided to play but maybe just maybe he thinks he might want to play again. So he stared at the gym hoping some happiness or anything would come, but nothing does. “HEY!” Kageyama tobio whips his head around and sees the boy with orange hair whom he played against in middle school. “YOURE THE KING OF THE COURT, KAGEYAMA TOBIO.” The boy shouts and Kageyama thinks the boy should shut up. “don’t call me that.” Kageyama mumbles. “I can’t believe where gonna be on the same team. I wanted to beat you.” The shorter boy says. “I’m not playing.” Kageyama dully states. The boys face twist into confusion. “Huh but why not your really good.” Kageyama thinks the boy must be joking with him now. He thinks this boy is an idiot Kageyama tobio is far from good. “Because I am now drop it.” Kageyama says and begins to walk home leaving the short boy behind to wallow in his confusion. “HEY! are you hinata shoyo?” He hears someone call behind him. Kageyama thinks they boys name must be hinata shoyo. He thinks he might hate hinata shoyo even more than he did in middle school.

Kageyama lays in bed that night thinking of everything. Thinking of his grandfather. Wondering why he had to die. Why he had to leave Kageyama. He thought of how he had nobody. He thought of his old teammates. He thought about death. What did dying feel like. It’s probably better than living he thinks. Kageyama think that maybe death might not be such a bad thing. After all he might get to see his grandfather again. He also thinks about his looks. He doesn’t think about his looks often but now he thinks of his scowl or how his bangs are uneven or how he’s too tall. He hates being tall, he hates standing out. 

Kageyama tobio goes to school the next day and regrets it. The reason being the volleyball captain whose name he forgot came and asked him if he was interested in playing. Kageyama stood there frozen unable to say anything and simple stared at the ground until things got awkward enough for the older boy to leave. He also regrets it because he has a test on the second day of school. A TEST. Of course Kageyama being Kageyama knows he failed it. Also not o mention he forgot his lunch. So he say there leaning against the tree hungry. Of course he had remembered his manga though. He never forgot it because he knew at lunch sometimes he would get bored and have nothing to do so what better to do than read. Today he brought our dreams at dusk which he had found very interesting and he liked it a lot. So Kageyama sat there reading finding himself wishing he was a character in the story sometimes. What Kageyama did not notice was the short boy with orange hair staring at him thought the classroom window wondering why Kageyama wasn’t eating. Wondering why Kageyama wasn’t playing volleyball.

Hinata shoyo was determined to find out. He would make Kageyama play again no matter what. Hinata didn’t know why he wanted Kageyama to play so badly but when hinata put his mind to something he wouldn’t stop until he achieved his goal.


	2. Chapter 2

THIS IS A MULTI CHAPTER I ACCIDENTALLY PUT ONE Chapter and I honestly don’t know how to fix it I’m sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

Kageyama tobio didn’t go to school for a week. He didn’t get out of bed for a week. He layed there in the darkness covered by his blankets which brought a strange warmth. He listened to the rain as it tapped on his window making a soft rhythm. He stared at his ceiling hand raised reaching for something for someone reaching for anything. Kageyama wasn’t sad or happy or angry in fact Kageyama was kind of numb to feelings at least that’s what he had convinced himself. He convinced himself he doesn’t need anyone and no one needs him. he’s convinced he should just disappear. 

His parents weren’t home they were always working. His sister would visit sometimes but she was busy with college sometimes he hates her for going to college and he hates himself for hating her. He used to have his grandfather but not anymore. The last memory’s of his grandfather were of Kageyama standing over his casket wondering why. He always wondered why mainly because that’s the only thing he could do. 

Sometimes when kageyama is sitting at home he looks through this volleyball jorunal. He looks at the messy handwriting and smiles to himself thinking back to how excited he was to write about the things he had learned. But he also look the the crumpled pages marked with dried tears and he feels angry. He’s angry at himself for messing up. He wishes he had someone with him someone, anyone. 

Kageyama tobio decided he will go back to school on Monday. He already missed a week of school and didn’t want more missing work than he needed. He most likely wouldn’t make up the assignments but he somehow always manages to convince himself that he will. He want to do them he truly does, he just can’t whenever he sits down to do his homework the thoughts come and he can’t focus. The thoughts are always there. “King, selfish, ugly, stupid, worthless.” Those words stayed and lingered the way an alcoholic lingers outside of a bar like they’re waiting for an invitation to something they already do daily. The words seeping into Kageyama thoughts daily that was their favorite activity. Sometimes just sometimes Kageyamas mind made him wonder what falling off a roof felt like or what freedom from your thoughts felt like or even happiness. Sometimes Kageyama scratched at his head so much wanting to get the thoughts out he would bleed. Then he would stare at the blood under his finger nails feeling a strange satisfaction. Sometimes Kageyama wanted to stop. He wanted everting to stop.

Kageyama tobio finally came back to school on a Monday. The weather was rather nice. a high of 75 and the wind blowing mildly through the air. Hinata liked warm days he liked to go outside and practice volleyball during lunch on those nice days and he also liked to stare at the boy who smiled when nobody was looking. There had been a lot of nice days but hinata had no desire to go outside so he stayed in his classroom surrounded by his classmates eating the bento box his mom had made him. Maybe he should as his mom to make one for Kageyama in case he didn’t have a lunch again. Who was hinata kidding Kageyama probably wouldn’t even come to school and he’d be stuck with two lunches. Kageyama did come to school though and it made hinata feel a little happier. Hinata wanted to get to know Kageyama. He wanted to know the boys favorite anime, favorite color, what made the boy laugh, what made the boy cry. The most important though is why the boy quit volleyball. Hinata thought of him as a genius. Kageyama was so good and hinata could tell they shared the same Passion for volleyball so why did Kageyama quit? Hinata convinced himself that at lunch he would go up and talk to Kageyama. Yup he was totally going to do it no backing out nope.

Hinata grabbed his lunch and headed to the tree where Kageyama usually sat. He hummed along the way wind blowing through his orange curls and a smile forming on his face. When he got there he saw Kageyama in fact didn’t have a lunch. Doesn’t his mom make him One? Hinata thought. Maybe he forget it. Hinata decided that before he would talk to the boy he would go to the cafe. He would buy himself an onigiri and give Kageyama his lunch. So he ran as fast as he could to the cafe. “Woah hinata what’s got you running so fast.” He heard nishinoya say as he was running. “Oh UM FOOD.” hinata yelled quickly and continued to the cafe. Hinata was now standing at least a few feet away from the tree debating weather or not he should actually talk to Kageyama. Would he even want to? GAHH he looks so mean. Alright I’m gonna do it Hinata thought. 

“Um Kageyama.” Hinata said trying his best to his the nervousness in his voice. Kageyama looked up from his manga and looked the orange haired boy in the eyes. Kageyama internally began to panic. What’s he here for? Great is he gonna make fun of me. Cant he see I want to be alone. This is the worst I’m gonna say something wrong and then he’s gonna hate me. 

“So do you want it?” Kageyama snapped out of his panic and looked the hinata who was holding his lunch.  
“Um what?” Kageyama said.  
“My Lunch? I saw you didn’t have one and I’m not that hungry plus I’ve got this.” Hinata said showing him the onigiri in his hand. Kageyama looked at the ground. Was this some kind of prank he thought. Oh poor Kageyama with no lunch I feel so bad was that what hinata was thinking.  
“Not hungry.” Is what Kageyama responded with.   
“Oh well you should really eat anyways it will get your energy levels up.” Hinata replied now sitting next to Kageyama. Kageyama tried so hard to subtly scoot away from the boy.   
“I won’t bite you know.” Hinata said.  
“I know that dumbass.” Kageyama snapped.   
“Kageyama if you don’t eat this lunch I’ll have to tell my mom and then she’ll get really mad soooooo I think you should at least try it.”   
Kageyama looked at the boy and blinked a few times. Hinata shoyo was definitely weird.   
“Fine whatever I’ll try it.” Kageyama said.  
“AHH GREAT.” Hinata said handing him the lunch. Kageyama opened it and of course it was his favorite pork curry with an egg on top. Kageyama wanted to cry. The last time he had his favorite food was when his sister came to Visit from college which a year ago. Kageyama took a bite and became overwhelmed with nostalgia. He remember how his grandfather taught him and his sister how to make it and they would eat it all most every night.  
“S’good.” Kageyama said with his mouth full. Hinatas eyes lit up.  
“I know right my moms really good at cooking. Oh and by the way what’s the manga you’re reading is it good?” Hinata asked and Kageyama looked done at his book. He was currently reading “I hear the sunspot.”   
“Oh I’m yeah I guess so.” Kageyama replied.  
“That’s cool what’s it about.” Kageyama did not want to answer that’s question he didn’t want to tell hinata that he was reading a book about two boys falling in love. Hinata would probably be disgusted.   
“Oh Its nothing that good it’s boring.” Kageyama said.  
“Oh okay do you watch anime too?” Hinata asked. Kageyama had only seen a few anime but he really liked them.  
“Yeah I have.”  
“THATS COOL WHATS YOUR FAVORITE? I REALLY LIKE ONE PIECE” Was hinata always this loud Kageyama thought.   
“Oh um I haven’t really thought about it but I like jujutsu kaisen and a silent voice.” Kageyama said.   
“WHATTT a silent voice was so sad but I’ve never seen the other one what was ju ju sen?”   
“Jujutsu Kaisen” Kageyama corrected him.   
“Oh I’ll watch it then or maybe we could watch it together you know only if you want.” Hinata said. Together? Kageyama thought, like hang out? Why would hinata want to do that especially with Kageyama. Kageyama decided it was better not to respond than to say something that would hurt the boys feelings thankfully hinata continues talking mainly about one piece and Kageyama listened. Well he mostly listened. He still didn’t understand why the orange haired boy was taking to him. Why him of all people? Why the selfish and mean king. Probably out of pity Kageyama thought. The bell snapped Kageyama out of his thoughts.  
“See you tomorrow Kageyama!!” Hinata said as he got up to head back to class. Kageyama just nodded his head and gathered his things. Kageyama thinks maybe just maybe he might not hate hinata so much.


End file.
